Ground Hog Day Resolutions
1. I resolve to pay more attention to the platitudes my mother used, and how they apply in my own life.
2. I resolve not to count my chickens before they hatch, nor to put them all in one basket once they do.
3. This year I will mind my own business. And, that of anyone who has a conversation within earshot of me. Oh, also the business of any celebrity who makes it into the pages of People magazine.
4. I will look before I leap, say a prayer before I sleep, and not let spilt milk make me weep. In fact, I will probably just keep looking and never leap as my legs lack leapability lately.
5. I will talk softly and carry a big stick. Oh, that wasn’t Mom. Never mind. Sorry Mom.
6. I will gather no stone that has no moss. Nor will I gather stones that do have moss, since to do so is a crime. Unless you have a permit.
7. I will not have my birthday cake, nor eat it, too. In fact, I resolve to skip my birthday this year and every year hereafter. I am just going to pretend I’m 37 from now on.
8. I won’t judge a book by its cover. Or by who the author is. Or what the subject is. I will continue to read the last page and see if I want to figure out how the author got there.
9. I will waist not, want not. In fact, I think I will try to find only clothes with no waist as my waist wants not to be restricted anymore.
10. I resolve not to take myself so seriously this year. (Even if one person did call me ‘famous’ last year. Thanks, I’ve been trying to work that into a post). After all, as the saying goes, life is just a chair of bowlies.
Happy Ground Hog’s Day to one and all. May the rest of the year be prosperous in all the right ways, and may you all be adopted by an Irish mother who collects platitudes like the other mothers collect silver spoons!
1. I resolve to pay more attention to the platitudes my mother used, and how they apply in my own life.
2. I resolve not to count my chickens before they hatch, nor to put them all in one basket once they do.
3. This year I will mind my own business. And, that of anyone who has a conversation within earshot of me. Oh, also the business of any celebrity who makes it into the pages of People magazine.
4. I will look before I leap, say a prayer before I sleep, and not let spilt milk make me weep. In fact, I will probably just keep looking and never leap as my legs lack leapability lately.
5. I will talk softly and carry a big stick. Oh, that wasn’t Mom. Never mind. Sorry Mom.
6. I will gather no stone that has no moss. Nor will I gather stones that do have moss, since to do so is a crime. Unless you have a permit.
7. I will not have my birthday cake, nor eat it, too. In fact, I resolve to skip my birthday this year and every year hereafter. I am just going to pretend I’m 37 from now on.
8. I won’t judge a book by its cover. Or by who the author is. Or what the subject is. I will continue to read the last page and see if I want to figure out how the author got there.
9. I will waist not, want not. In fact, I think I will try to find only clothes with no waist as my waist wants not to be restricted anymore.
10. I resolve not to take myself so seriously this year. (Even if one person did call me ‘famous’ last year. Thanks, I’ve been trying to work that into a post). After all, as the saying goes, life is just a chair of bowlies.
Happy Ground Hog’s Day to one and all. May the rest of the year be prosperous in all the right ways, and may you all be adopted by an Irish mother who collects platitudes like the other mothers collect silver spoons!
Nice--Ground Hog Day resolutions. I'm going to take this up from now on: it gives me another month to skip running and to drink beer instead. Yeah!
ReplyDeleteMy mother's platitudes: "Go play outside!"
"Stop hitting your brother!"
"Don't do what I do! (puff, puff)
Love you Mom, if you are reading this...
Let's see:
ReplyDelete"Natural consequences" was a favorite, especially for forgotten lunches and coats. Good Mom-ing.
"Lock your door. It won't do any good to wear a seatbelt if all you're doing is dragging your head along the pavement." Nice. Fearmonger much?
I think those are my two most remembered, and most used in my adult life.
Well, sweetie, it's nice to know you remember something I said.
ReplyDeleteAfter all, I listened to the Care Bears' signature song about 50 times a day for three years, so maybe a fair trade?
Yes, the locked door thing. Hard to have two lawyers as parents. Lucky you ever learned to talk with trying to get a word in edgewise.
Having two lawyers as parents, it's a miracle I can cross the street without a panic attack.
ReplyDeleteNo trampoline, almost no bike, and a word of caution whenever a hot beverage was sipped. Why am I going to lawschool again??